#my life is fun 🙃
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I’m staying with my parents where my step mom cooks 3 meals a day every day and I have to explain to her that my low appetite isn’t just something I can eat 3 full meals through.
They saved me a plate of dinner and I ate like… 1/4 of it at best before shaking overtook everything. It’s been 4 hours and I’m only just starting to feel the onset of new hunger pains and wondering if it’s worth going down to try more of the plate or just eat a granola bar and call it a day.
I feel like at the worst of my eating disorder I wasn’t even eating this little. I’d eat more if I could but I really truly can’t and it sucks to face 3 delicious meals a day (she’s the best cook I’ve ever met) and not be able to eat them.
I hate what my body is doing and the fact that I can’t pull out of this never ending sense of drowning.
#speaking of illness. they don’t think I should spend that much on an ultrasound for my cat.#the signs all point to cancer. and I can’t treat her if it is#I can’t treat her regardless of what it is tbh so they’re wondering if it’s worth spending that much and stressing her out#an ultrasound would be an extremely long all day affair that would just about break us both#her behaviour hasn’t changed yet despite the physical changes so I have time to figure out if I want to watch her die and for how long#my life is fun 🙃#mb
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Felt like some simple painting today
#doctorsiren#ace attorney#miles edgeworth#phoenix wright#ace attorney fanart#art#digital art#my art#fanart#procreate#I meant to make Edgeworth built a little different but I just went with what I ended up with bc I wanted to get to the fun colours already#I’m sobbing the Phoenix at the bottom#imposter fr#actually it sort of reminds me of an AU my brother and I thought of#where Phoenix gets disbarred wrongly but then just embraces the conman life and Trucy is a little congirl#he’s like ‘welp they already think I am anyways 🙃’#I know tumblr will decimate the quality :’)
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#so anyway i’m on a train and this is my quick recap#of what i’ve been up to the last year#firstly i found out i have adhd because i was so burnt out and anxious i was sent to the hospital with a suspected heart attack lol#which they’re currently looking into to see if i have any heart problems or just anxiety 24/7 🙃#either way it’s been a great explanation for why i find everything so difficult everyday when i didn’t even know i was finding it hard 😐#my mum also almost died which was very much not fun and a little traumatising#i also can’t remember if i mentioned this before i disappeared (i must have) but i bought my own flat here in london which was my lifes goal#and i’ve spent the last like 8 months renovating to my own taste#it’s been a crazy and overwhelming experience doing all#of this by myself#but nether the less she persisted !!!!#and i’m finally in!!!#living alone? would highly recommend#and lastly this genocide has broken my heart completely and disrupted my ability to enjoy a lot of things and was why i wouldn’t bring#myself to come on here and talk about things that really didn’t matter in comparison#i have a friend directly effected and i feel v personally effected as someone who is west asian/muslim#so yeah it’s been difficult#and then the liam news hit me like a truck#it’s just been a Time#and the months slipped away from me like water#the only good thing that’s happened i guess is that i discovered sleep token this year and they immediately became my favourite band#i’m seeing them next month and have had them on repeat non stop#so apologies in advance for turning into a sleep token blog lol
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bad news is that im stuck in another one of my random periods of insomnia but GOOD NEWS is that the recent update dragged me by the throat back into being a lesbian in stardew valley so i have something to occupy all my awake time at the very least
#stardew valley#new update FUN#WINTER OUTFITS#being a lesbian except for in my first save#because i just assumed that it Wasn’t Allowed™️#so shout out to my straight farmer on my original save that also has the most progress🙃 may she live a beautiful heterosexual life#and shout out to my three other saves where i get to be Gay™️ i love you#and finally shout out to sdv fishing cause its FUN#i really would just prefer to sleep though pls
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allow yourself to be a little arrogant! if you were to claim that you know more than most people about a specific character from greek mythology, which character would it be?
*puts on the hat of arrogance so I can take it off right afterward*
Penelope 😅 😂
Like most of what we find of her is in the Odyssey, and even then, in my opinion, Homer I almost feel purposefully makes her a bit of an enigma. As we're in Odysseus' "POV" most of the time, and it's kind of a "She tricks the trickster, she tricks the narrator, she tricks the suitors, she tricks the reader, etc."
But even with this lil bit of "sneakiness" with her, we still get so many hints of her character and who she is and I adore it 🥹
Even then she has a lot of background lore that is just SOOOO much fun to play with. Her being of Naiad descent (whether 50-75% depending on what myths you go with), her many brothers and one sister, Her dad being a racer, her being cousins with Helen, Castor, Pollux, Clytemnestra Sparta itself, And that's just background lore!!!! There's so much to play with and that makes it so fun!
And well, like, I KNOW I'm the reason for a big boom of "Water Wife" lol 😅 Were there "Naiad Penelopes" before I came back on Tumblr? YES! :D Absolutely! I'm definitely NOT the first "Naiad Penelope" person!
But I DID create "Water Wife" AND I know I help cause more Water Pennys to be in the world >:3 Even if folks weren't directly inspired by me, they probably got it from someone else who was! :3 and I know my headcanons are often being used by others.
*The hat of arrogance droops a lil on my head so it becomes a lil bit of the sad arrogance hat*
I sometimes don't really like that I'm like, "the biggest, loudest Penelope fan", you know? ;~;
I know I'm not the only Penelope fan <3 I know there are others. Many lovely fans and creators :3 This isn't to negate them and the love and works. <3
But in fandom in general, In some ways, I...I'm a lil sad that like, a lot of the info that some people have on her in the fandom I know is because of me 😓 Like...Why did it take someone else to be a nerd about her for others to be a nerd about her, you know?
Like, it makes me happy that people are finally giving her love and seeing a lot more fics and headcanons with her as a focal point but like, I'm sad feeling like I started it in fandom (again, Penelope HAS been praised throughout the ages after all) recently. Why did it take ME to get others so nuts about her? Why do I see most folks caring about her simply because Odysseus and Telemachus do?
It's like, there are many Odysseus bloggers, there are a few Telemachus bloggers (Hi! :D ), but there are few, (if really many others) blogs that are like "most stuff I do is Penelope, Odysseus and others are there sometimes but It's mostly Penelope in here".
(granted I have not really...looked too much recently as it started making me sad to think about her not getting a lot of love) I am also very picky. I won't stand for cardboard Penelope who is only there to prop up her husband and/or thinks he "cheated" or have Odysseus cheat. Penelope, and women in general, are not props for their husbands/sons.)
As like, I got most of my info FROM the Odyssey AND just simply looking stuff up about her and Sparta and her family. And so I get this lil feeling of "...We both read the same book, why did it take me pointing out that Penelope is constantly wishing violence on the suitors for people to know that she does that? Why did you think that Penelope didn't come up with the archery contest when it explicitly says she did?"
And it's not like, even a feeling of "gatekeeping" or wanting to be like "You're a Penelope fan, huh? Well then tell me the names of all her possible brothers? >:(" It's more like a
Me: "I love Penelope!" Person:"YEs! I love Penelope too!" Me: "Yippee! Can you tell me about your Penelope? :D I love all Penelopes! I wanna talk about her!" Person: "Well, she's more quiet and reserved but that's her secret >:3 she strikes when you least expect it!" Me: "YES!!! That's so fun! I have her 'Likeminded' with Odysseus and she's silly, reckless, hotheaded just like he is :D Can you tell me some headcanons about her? What do you have for her childhood? I'm really excited!" Person: "Oh I don't have much for her childhood actually." Me: "That's okay! Do you wanna brainstorm together? Maybe bounce some ideas so you can get some down?" Person: "Oh no, that's okay. I've got all I need,as I really only have her when she meets Odysseus." Me: "o-oh okay.:'D "
As like...I dunno. When you love a character, you wanna meet others who also will ramble nonstop about them too, you know?
I sometimes feel like, idk, some folks are like "Think up Penelope headcanons for us! :D " especially as like... I've had that whole "Oh no, I've got all I need!" experience more than once :')
Ngl, like, part of the reason I go so "apeshit" about her is yeah, because I am, but also like, in hope more people will join me? Which yeah! People have! And that makes me happy!
But even then, I just... I DO like this joke, don't get me wrong, but with how whenever I fangirl about her, people are like, "Found Odysseus" and yippee! :D I think it's fun to be called Odysseus!
But also like...Why does it still tie back to him? Why is it still about Odysseus? (even my own tag of "Shot by Odysseus" is still technically about him! (I'm keeping it because I'm stupid but still)) Why aren't Odysseus fans called "Penelope" then? She loves him just as much, right?
I think there's more "OdyPen fans" than there are Penelope fans. Because most Penelope stuff HAS to do with Odysseus, and it's usually like, STILL centered around him. Which is really weird to me, as I don't know how you can be a big Odysseus fan without being an equally big Penelope fan. They are way way too intertwined to not be equally talked/headcanoned/etc. about in my opinion. They're like the same person imo in a way lol.
In my opinion, you cannot bring up Odysseus without mentioning Penelope, you cannot bring up Penelope without mentioning Odysseus.
It's literally like that in the Odyssey. (Explain that part of Homer's passage here.)
...So why are there so many fics with Odysseus doing so much without Penelope, and yet, very few Penelope fics that don't have much of anything to do with Odysseus?
*takes off hat of arrogance*
And like...I'm a goober just like every other fan, you know? I'm not some "mastermind". All my "good" headcanons are simply loving her and thinking about her often. It's...not hard to love a character. I just rotate her around a lot. :3
#sighs#aaaaaaaaaa#this is another dumb ramble by Mad but you know#Sorry this became...THIS. Anon! :'D This was a really sweet and fun ask. I'm just a lil weirdo.#I go on this rant often. and I hate that but aaaaaaaaaaaaaa. it's like...almost made me annoyed about Odysseus. sadly.#like I'm kind of at a point of “...I love him too. but can we shut up about him for a bit?”#I mean. like. I've seen shit that basically erases Penelope and has it where it's “Athena who is Telemachus' mom” like what the actual fuck#honestly like. while I get sad that like. people weirdly making Telemachus only raised by Athena. I have no beef with his fans.#as like. from what I've noticed. in Telemachus centered fics and shit. BOTH Penelope AND Odysseus are in the “background”#AND THAT MAKES SENSE! :D#but like. other Odysseus fans. who put Penelope in the “background” when that's the love of his life. who he shares a mind with.#like...that's out of character for both Penelope AND Odysseus.#...Also you notice how Odysseus is basically shipped with everyone but Penelope is never shipped with anyone other than Odysseus?👀#Despite both being equally obsessed with each other?#Why is that?#Is it because she's just Odysseus' wife?🙃#penelope#penelope of ithaca#Mad rambles#shot by odysseus#my headcanons#ask#anon#essay#Mad rants#kind of#Water Wife#odyssey
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I love it when people at work are like you seem distracted today are you okay? Like sorry I'm daydreaming about getting railed by a man 10 years older than me not the horrors of my reality
#3 people have said this to me today#i need to live in my fantasy world otherwise I'll kms#life is fun 🙃#me#text#v#wet and needy#needy slvt#needy wh0re#rough daddy#breeding k1nk#br33dable
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#ok im making one more dot post and then i am (hopefully) getting off tumblr and going to bed#liam payne#death#i do suggest not reading tbh because its just gonna be waffle. anyways#ive distanced myself from the boys for years for a multitude of reasons. mainly that they did things that disappointed me and i realised the#way i was attatched to them was unhealthy. so for the most part i listened and enjoyed the music and didnt pay Much attention to anything#else. and like liam. i always liked him in the band days because to me he was the underdog. the underappreciated and probs less stanned one#out of all of them. and when youre a fan i do feel like a lot of us just wanted them all to be appreciated. idk. but anyways yeah i did feel#for him. due to him backgroud growing up. his talent. etc etc. even though he wasnt my fav. and even when he did something wrong my teenage#self still defended him like my life depended on it. (embarassing) anyways. his solo music while it was not my fav i still occasionally#enjoyed. its just over produced pop like it was fine and i found it fun. in terms of him as an actual person by this point in his career i#didnt pay attention to him or the others that much anymore#and like. yeah as of recently as more stuff came out about him being kinda weird and rude and abusive 🙃🙃🙃 that was kind of the final#straw for me! like in terms of me giving a fuck about him. if he eventually came around cool but i wasnt gonna wait around for it.#god this whole thing feels so dramatic but i need to get it oit or i Know i will not be at peace lmao anyways#so yeah come to hearing about his death which. i hear about because of trin lovell on twitter like. shsvshs. anyways my reaction was#disbelief and just... nothing? like i said in my brain i had just disregarded him honestly. and even now i still just feel speechless.#to summarise my feelings. fuck him for how he treated his ex and probably other women as well. but also. he was my boy. he'll always be a#part of me. and it feels weird that hes just. gone. he suffered a lot with addiction and pressures etc and its just. sad that hes gone now.#that he never got to get better. and he wont get the chance to. im sad for his family. and anyone else thats gonna be affected by this#im always gonna remember him.#and thats all i have to say. honestly part of me feels SO dramatic for even typing all this out but here we are.#if anyone has read this far and wants someone to talk to im more than happy. and also just wanna make clear that i am fine#le text post
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Not me spending hours creating a floor plan for a building I want to write about, but I need to know exactly where everything is in order to be able to write about it 😭
#me rambling#i mean its fun seeing how what i imagine kind of comes “to life”#but it also takes up so much of my time 🙃#writing#fanfiction
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heyyyy i read all your old patchnotes, and i just wanna say thank you for listening to your readers and changing the gender system(?) thank you for letting us choose the ROs genders ourselves. I know some authors dont like doing that, so im just grateful to you 🫡
It was actually easier than I thought it would be, which made the decision not as difficult as I expected.
Also, I realized it's really unfair to have a customizable cast and...uh...not be able to really customize their gender 🤷🏿♀️ who knew???
#camp overlook#asks#interactive fiction#learning is fun#im having so much fun#i don't have a burning desire to edit episode 1 every single day of my life#nooooo#🙃
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this rewatch of sdmi has been wild because once you start taking the talking animals and their place in the worldbuilding seriously it's just like oh wow this is some real final fantasy plot huh. what do you mean the resident discriminated-against beastfolk are not only descended from ancient otherworldly beings masquerading as gods, and not only driven insane even more effectively than non-beastfolk by a curse because of their heritage, and not only serve as apocalyptically powerful vessels for those otherworldly beings, but are easy to read as having been created specifically because they're more powerful vessels than normal animals, and then abandoned to their own devices (being enslaved) for thousands of years until the next time their creators pop into this reality and want a convenient corporeal form to snatch. which game in the series is this
#sdmi#scooby doo: mystery incorporated#shitposting#don't get me started on 'what if they look different to different people depending on what they expect to see'#'we're seeing them through the filter the gang/town would see them through; and/or the filter of the medium itself'#'and that filter might be kind of goofy and a bit abstracted; but still Recognizably Looks Like That Animal'#'if you take that away they look a whole lot less goofy and a *hell* of a lot more uncanny than what we get to see in the show'#'pericles is so completely removed from what his species is supposed to look like--#obviously his head is *way* more human-adjacent than a real parrot; but also there are notable differences from greys specifically--#because he has already been touched by the entity for his entire life; and he looks so completely different before and after the asylum#because the entity's had 20 years of isolation; among people who already see him as a terrifying monster; to turn all his influence on him'#'pericles looks the way he does because we are seeing the *real* pericles'#'or at least more of him than scooby or the others'#'that's what being the entity's special favorite will get you 🙃'#anyway these little fuckers are Interesting Actually and i'm having a lot of fun with them; even if the way canon handles them is upsetting#this isn't necessarily my main headcanon but it's one i like a lot and 'what do they *really* look like' might be a fun design challenge#SDMItag#to draw tag#professor pericles
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Hormonal hell is over and now we’re back at completely obsessed and in love with my partner like I need to crawl inside his skin and live there forever I can’t get close enough oh my god 🫠💕🥰
#I really hate that I can’t just be like this all the time#but that’s the fun of life right? having 2-4 personalities during the month because of your cycle 🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃#about me#personal#cream writes#sucks that I’m the sluttiest right when my period starts ///:
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You would hope that "morals over money" wasnt a radical thought but alas to boomers it is
#just had a whole argument with my mum#that was fun! 🙃#ok boomer#totally gentle parented her at the end so she wouldnt keep arguing the same point#but like????#editing out a trans flag in listing photos *is* transphobic you cant change my mind on that#even if doing so 'may make buyers want to pay more !!''#uhg#capitalism#my mum has been brainwashed by fucking thatcher since the 80s even with two queer kids#i dont think shell ever change#i need to leave this place please and tank you#anyone in the UK have a spare room to rent for like... £150 or whatever i can spare from my Universal Credit ahaha#laughing to hide the pain#katy liveblogs life
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One of the WORST parts of having OCD is that some of the Fears™ are actually humanly possible, so it's not like my response can just be, "Oh that'll never happen" or even "I've never seen that happen, so it's probably unlikely."
#like. okay. for example. 2019 me: 'better do cleaning compulsions because oh no what if I get the Plague™'#fast forward a year to covid and that was genuinely a very real possibility. I could LITERALLY catch the plague#or on a smaller more personal scale: 'no one is going to screenshot a Bad Line™ of your fic and publicly make fun of it online-people#don't do that it'd be so extra why tf would you be afraid of that happening' except I JUST saw someone literally do that. so we engage in#Avoidance Compulsions™ as a protective mechanism because the only way to avoid a feared outcome is to never do anything! 🙃🙃#and okay yeah these things are not created equal and one of them probably doesn't actually matter the point I'm trying to make is that#this shit affects my life on EVERY level and I WOULD VERY MUCH LIKE FOR IT NOT TO DO THAT#I AM TIRED OF THE BRAIN DISEASE BEING HERE I WOULD LIKE TO BE A MENTALLY HEALTHY PERSON PLEASE#*sigh* yeah yeah the answer is erp the answer is always erp that doesn't mean it's fun#mc13 and her ocd#I'll probably delete this later because it most likely makes me look completely and utterly absurd if not straight-up stupid#(no one ELSE with this disease or fears is absurd or stupid btw. just me. it's only me who is A Problem™)#(yes I know how that sounds. I know okay.)
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#[redacted] is either mad at me or dealing with a LOT of self loathing and withdrawing so hey that’s fun 🙃#and with my history of feeling unwanted in every life sector this is truly the most experience all summer
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im so unreasonably mad about having all this snow already when all the autumn leaves haven't even fallen off the trees 😤
#i feel like i completely missed autumn it started so late and was over so quick#like did it even happen??? idk idk#i hate winter i only want there to be snow on christmas but after that im GOOD#also im really questioning all my life choices bc i do not have a car or a driver's licence#i sure love biking in the winter it's so much fun! 🙃#omppu jorisee
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So turns out that I can't start any crochet small business because I live in hell and it takes too much money to be allowed to sell and even if my father did offer to try somehow to make it happen I just prefer to wait until I move from this shit place
#back to programming and not only programming back to what's probably the most boring programming thing ever#my depression back when i was learning how to work on WordPress was so fucking bad 🙃#but i have lots of bases on this and I'd work with my father so it should get me money quickly#logically this is better because it allows me to make money in multiple ways but emotional#emotionally* it fucking sucks and I've cried most of the past 24 hours#life really is shit uh I don't even want to try to do the fun programming because becoming a game dev looks like a sure failure with the#current state of the industry and I can't make money with crafts until i have money to start#just pain for me 😭
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